


From Ashes

by Katz92



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-18
Updated: 2014-09-18
Packaged: 2018-02-17 21:39:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2324081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katz92/pseuds/Katz92
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the 2014 DA Reverse Big Bang, based off a fanmix. Follows Bethany's story from the end of Act I to Act III as she joins the Wardens and starts to find herself with them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	From Ashes

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Answering Our Prayers](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/74177) by shadowedhills/minorearth. 



i.  
“Beth!” Hawke knelt next to her, eyes blurring. 

Bethany gave her sister a weak smile in return. She was used to being strong—she could do it one last time for her sister. “Take care of mom for me.”

“You can’t leave me. You can’t. Not you too.” Her sister sobbed into Bethany’s shoulder before Hawke’s eyes found Anders’ face. “Anders! You have to help her! Please!”

Anders knelt, resting a hand on Hawke’s shoulder. “No healer alive can remove the taint…”

“Isn’t there anything?!”

“…There are Wardens nearby. And if it’s the group I believe it to be, I might be able to call in one last favor.”

Beth pulled away from Hawke to look at her sister. “I’m okay with this being the end, sister. I have lived a better life than many with magic.” 

“I’m not ready to give you up.” Hawke replied angrily.

“I may die trying to join the Wardens. One of their tasks might leave me to an early grave. Their lifespans are short.” Bethany coughed twice.

“Any days I can help add to your life I will!” She gathered Beth into her arms and stood. “Lead the way, Anders, and be quick about it.” With a nod, the man led the Hawke siblings and Varric back into the Deep Roads, the latter sighing heavily as he followed. 

“Sister, really. You do not need to go through the trouble.” Bethany kept repeating it. Hawke had already gone through so much trouble on her behalf, it seemed cruel to force more upon her older sibling. 

Hawke sighed, pressing a kiss to thick, dark hair so much like her own. “You’re never a bother, Beth.” Her lips rested there a moment longer before saying, “I never should have brought you down here.”

Bethany coughed several times before being able to reply. “And then I would have gone to the Gallows. Everything Father did to keep me out of there, everything you’ve done the last two years to keep me out of there, would have been for naught.”

“Hawke, we should take a break.” Varric suggested. 

“Every second we waste brings Bethany a second closer to death.” Hawke spat back. “If you wish to rest, Varric, we will leave markers for you to follow.”

I forgot how protective she can be…it’s been so long since she’s had such a cause to fret so much about me. Bethany had cringed at her sister’s harsh words.

“I do not think they are much further, Hawke. Perhaps another two hours, dependent on them maintaining their current path.” Anders inserted. 

“Good. Then we keep walking.”

They did, following what Bethany didn’t understand at the time to be an ability all Wardens had—the ability to sense the taint in darkspawn and each other. The last part of their search passed in a blur—it had slowly started to become harder and harder to breathe, the coughing fits becoming worse and more frequently. She had even started to taste blood, but did was little she could to hide it from Hawke.

“We have to be close…I can sense them so well now…” Anders was muttering to himself.

“I assume it is us you search for, Anders.” From a hallway, a broad, dark man stepped into the main passage, along with two others. All three were dressed in blue and silver, their armor and weapons of good make despite their tattered exterior. 

“It is, Stroud.” Anders moved forward and shook the man’s hand.

“The Commander worries about you, you know. Has all of us on alert as we go about our business outside the Keep in case you turn up.”

“She worries, I know.”

“You left without a word!”

“Stroud, this isn’t about me.” He gestured to Bethany, barely conscious in Hawke’s arms. “She’s contracted the Taint while we were down here.”

The man called Stroud sniffed. “A risk of those not already tainted coming down to the Deep Roads.”

Anders heard the snarl come from Hawke’s throat. He tried to stop her, but nothing would quell the woman’s grief. “Do you think I wanted her to come down here?! I did everything short of chain her to the bed! And even then, she would have just melted the chains away.”

Stroud raised an eyebrow. “A mage?”

“Does it really matter!?”

“It does, Hawke.” Anders looked between the two. “Not only does Stroud owe me, the last I heard the Warden Commander was desperate to attract mages to the Wardens. But few wish for the life of a Warden, and she refused to conscript any.” His eyes stayed on Stroud for a moment. “Bethany is a good mage and a good woman—I can vouch for both.”

Stroud sighed. “She will not be happy about this.”

“I’ll sweeten the deal once more then: Bethany’s mother is an Amell, much like our dear Commander. That makes this woman and her cousins.” Bethany, even partially delirious, was able to hear the smugness in Anders’ voice. “You and I both know she was—is—desperate to connect with her family now that she is mostly free.”

“I’ll do it, Anders.” Stroud snapped. His eyes had been on Bethany for several minutes, and it unsettled her. “Although you certainly went all-in in regards to convincing me.”

“She is a friend.” Anders murmured. “I have no wish to see her in the ranks of the Wardens, but if I have the ability to prevent her death I will.”

“Very well.” Stroud stepped over to Hawke. “Say your goodbyes.”

Hawke paled. “Now?!”

“The longer we wait, the less chance of survival she has. There are a couple of things that we can do to strengthen her first, but we must start now.”

“But…”

“Our rituals are sacred. I will send a letter once I am topside if she survives. What you three need to do now is leave.” Stroud’s eyes went to Anders. “Write a damn letter to the Commander, Anders. She misses you.”

“…Alright. Thank you for this, Stroud.”

Bethany was barely aware of being passed from one set of arms to another. She felt hot lips and wet tears against her face as Hawke said goodbye. Anders’ farewell was a short apology, and Varric only murmured out something her tale making a good story. As he intended the heroine to survive, she had better. 

After one last goodbye from Hawke, pain overtook everything else. 

 

ii.

“From this moment on, you are a Grey Warden.” Those words echoed in Bethany’s mind as nightmares flashed before her eyes. Dragons, darkspawn, death. They replayed over and over again, a fierce burning in her throat.

After what seemed like an eternity, her eyes shot open. For a moment, she had no clue what was going on—everything hurt, every face was unfamiliar. “Hawke!” Her voice rasped. 

The oldest man passed her a waterskin. “Drink, sister, and then we will talk.”

She took a long drink before saying. “Where’s Hawke?”

“Long gone—I pointed her, Anders, and the dwarf towards the surface.”

“She left me?”

“I gave her no choice. Allow me to introduce myself and catch you up: I am Stroud, a Senior Warden in Ferelden. My companions are Elisa and Markus. The three of us were doing some work in the Deep Roads for our Commander, Karmyn Amell, when your friend Anders tracked us down. You contracted the taint during your time down here, and he implored me to take you through the joining ritual. I must admit, I am a little surprised you survived. I do not know if I have ever seen someone so physically exhausted make it through.”

“You made me drink something.” Bethany’s memory was piecing itself back together. “It was vile.”

Stroud chuckled. “Aye, it is. Are you hungry?”

She was, but the thought of eating made her want to vomit. “I will pass, for now.”

“I should warn you that Wardens tend to experience an extensive increase in appetite. Few are hungry straight out of their Joining, but we have food you can eat along the way, should we have need.”

“I thought we were staying the night here?” An accented female voice—Elisa—questioned. 

“Plans changed. You cannot sense it yet, but the route we were going to clear of darkspawn on our way has tripled in number. To still make decent time, we need to head for the surface now.” Both nodded before beginning to pack the makeshift camp. “How do you feel?”

“Tired…I am still not convinced this is the life for me. Perhaps it would have been better for me to die of the taint.”

Stroud shook his head. “It is not a pretty death in any sense. Please think better of yourself.”

“I make no promises.” Bethany brought her knees to her chest and hugged them as Stroud sighed. 

“Very well. Your sister left your pack with your belongings and some other things in it, should you wish for a taste of Kirkwall. If you can change, I would. Your current attire is quite…filthy.”

Bethany nodded before starting the struggle that was trying to change when your arm muscles felt like grass swaying in the wind.

“Let me help.” Kind brown eyes looked at her. “It has been so long since Stroud’s done a Joining, I think he forgot how exhausting it is.”

“Thank you for your kind words, Elisa.” 

“Come on, then. We need to get you up and at least hobbling before nightfall.” She placed her arm around Bethany and helped hoist the woman to her feet. 

“I am sorry for leaning on you so heavily.” Bethany murmured as the pair stumbled along.

Elisa gave her a small smile. “We’re sisters now, Bethany. Sisters help each other.”

“I have a sister.”

Understanding came from Elisa’s eyes. “I had two older brothers and an older sister—none were happy I joined the Wardens. It’s easy to send letters, though, and Karmyn, the Warden Commander, encourages it more than the First Warden would like. You’ll like her, I think. Most do.”

“I haven’t heard much about her.”

“A talent mage for being so young. She holds her own in court, but prefers to let Seneschal Varel handle many of the affairs. She liked to be hands on with us, training when we do, instructing some of us in knife-work and magic personally. She’s got an open door policy, so if she’s not in a meeting you’re welcome to ask for help, particularly with the nightmares.”

“Nightmares? Like what I saw before waking up?”

“Yes. You’ll get used to them, I promise. Its sort of nice, being one of the younger ones, because the Senior Wardens are so willing to help out.” She smiled at Bethany again, trying to put her at ease. “I know it seems like a hard life, Bethany, and there are a lot of downsides to the position, but it’s not all bad. It’s nice having a family and a home to always come back to.”

“Always? You’d even let Anders back after he’s fled?”

“…Karmyn would. She wants Vigil’s Keep to always be a Warden’s home. A Warden’s place to belong.”

“A place to belong…” Bethany smiled sadly. “I think I could get behind that.”

 

iii.  
“Bethany Hawke, correct?” 

Bethany stood still, arms to her sides, as a woman that appeared her age at first glace surveyed her. Bethany did the same, seeing bright green eyes with a hint of sadness, a smile that looked worn and weathered, and bushy brown-red hair that showed signs of years of attempted restraint that ended with it being tied back by a bandana. Overall, though, she seemed to be compassionate and understanding. 

“I am.”

“Sit, please. There is no need for you to stand on my account, and you should be comfortable as we talk. Are you hungry? I was about to ask someone to bring up tea and some fruit, if Woolsey can spare it.”

“Um…please?” Bethany sat down, arranging the skirt of a deep blue dress she had been given to change into upon arrival.

“As I’m sure you’ve guessed, I’m Warden Commander Karmyn Amell. I prefer that, around Vigil’s Keep, the Wardens call me Karmyn. The only time you need to address me as Commander is during official business. Once we are done speaking, we can get you settled with a room and uniforms.” Karmyn smiled, trying to put the woman at ease. 

“I understand.”

Karmyn noticed the tension in Bethany’s posture. “Bethany, I’d like to do anything in my power to make your transition into Wardens easy for you. This life is hard for those that choose it, and even harder for those that are forced into it like you and me.”

Bethany startled a little. “You were forced into the Wardens?”

With a sad smile, Karmyn recounted her the tale of her departure from the Tower. “I wasn’t happy at first, particularly not after Ostagar. But I have enjoyed my freedom in the Wardens. You may see it differently, having been an apostate, but you’ll never have to run from Templars again. Never worry about someone finding out you’re a mage and putting your family in danger. You can be whoever you wish to be in the Wardens, Bethany.”

“Whoever I want to be…”

“Yes.”

“Thank you, Karmyn.”

“My pleasure. Is there anything specific you need from me?”

“A way to send a letter? I would like to let my mother and sister know I have safely arrived.”

“Of course. Once it is ready it goes to Varel. You met him at the gates, I believe.”

“I did—I actually have it ready now.”

“We are sure to come across him when we take a walk around the Keep. Hang on to it until then.”

They sat in silence until Bethany said, “Isn’t there anything else you wanted to ask me? About my magic, about my previous training, my skills, anything?!”

Karmyn laughed. “I’m sorry. There are a hundred different things I’d like to talk to you about, but my Wardens have told me to take it easy. Apparently, my questions can be overwhelming.” Her eyes sparkled. “We will have plenty of time to talk. Unfortunately, I do have a meeting in 15 minutes and we cannot talk much now. Will you join me for tea after lunch tomorrow? We can talk then—I’d like to ask you about our family, if I may.”

“I would like that. And my magic?”

“You’ll meet with me tomorrow after breakfast—that’s when everyone is usually in some sort of weapons training. I’ll get a feel for your abilities and if there are any areas or spells in particular that I feel like you need to learn, like healing and identifying poisons, and if there are any you’ve wanted to learn that myself or one of our other mages may be able to teach you. There are only four of us—five counting you—now that Anders is gone, and between the four of us we cover a wide variety of spells. And we look forward to learning from you as well—three of us are Circle mages, and one was the first for a local Dalish Clan so it will be nice to have someone with a different background in our ranks.” Karmyn stood. “I am sure I have bored you enough for now. Let me see if I can find someone to start showing you around and I’ll join you when I have the chance.” Her head went out the door before she hollered, “Nathaniel!!” She came back inside. “Nathaniel is one of the first Wardens that came under my command, and my second in command. He can show you around.”

A dark-haired man came into the room. “You yelled, Karmyn?”

“I did. I’m sure you’ve heard about our newest arrival—this is Bethany Hawke.” She gestured to Bethany. “Bethany, this is Nathaniel.” She looked back to Nathaniel. “Show her the kitchens, stables, armory, and training area. I’ll hopefully join you around that time. If I haven’t, make sure Woolsey gets her measurements for clothing and Herren or Wade for armor. I’ll handle getting her a good staff myself.” She continued to speak, giving Nathaniel a list of things she wanted him to cover. 

Nathaniel sighed. “You’re rambling again, Karmyn.” He turned his eyes to Bethany and gave her a grim smile. “I hope she hasn’t been overwhelming you, my lady. She has a tendency to do that.”

Karmyn grinned, elbowing him sharply. “Enough out of you, I have a meeting to get to!” Grabbing a stack of papers, she fled the room. 

He turned back to Bethany, offering her his hand. “Are you ready for the grand tour?”

Bethany rested her hand lightly in his. “As ready as I will be.”

iv.  
The next several months were nothing Bethany had expected. The Grey Wardens always seemed like such a solemn order, but nearly every night they were gathered in the Great Hall for dinner, laughing and drinking. She was shy at first, sticking in a corner by herself or with Elisa. Karmyn joined her sometimes as well, but the Commander always moved around tables, trying to talk with everyone at once.

“Bethany.” A voice that had become familiar to her over the last five months appeared behind her. “Care if I join you?”

Smiling a little she replied, “If you’d like to, serah.”

Nathaniel appeared in her vision, sighing. “You’ll have to get over that at some point, Bethany. The only time you’ll see the group of hooligans being that formal is during official business. And even then, it’s touch and go with some of them. Oghren in particular.” He referenced the dwarf that had undergone the Joining around the same time, who was frequently found drunk.

Bethany suppressed a giggle. “I have noticed. It just still seems so strange.”

Eyes on her, Nathaniel said, “It is hard to get used to. But people do truly care about each other here. It has been better than I expected as well.”

“What do you mean?”

“Karmyn gave me a choice when she first became Commander—Death or the Joining.”

Bethany’s eyes furrowed. “Karmyn? The girl I found crying over a book in the library two days ago, gave you that ultimatum?”

“She had little choice at the time. You see, this place is my ancestral home. I was away in the Free Marches when my father decided to go on a small traitorous rampage, murdering the family of the Teryn of Highever, siding against King Cailan in a plot to be rid of him with Teryn Loghain, and then personally attacking the Wardens. My family had land and title striped from them, and Vigil’s Keep given to the Wardens for their base. I heard once I had returned to Ferelden and I broke into the Keep to get some family heirlooms out before the Wardens could pawn them. I was captured and locked up, Karmyn gave me the choice and here I am now.”

“That…that sounds terrible. Being here constantly must be a terrible reminder of it all.”

“I thought it would be. I wanted to be bitter for what had been done, but I think I am better for being a Warden. My sister lives in Amaranthine and I get to see her and my nephews often. I get to fight for a good cause, despite some of the downsides. I feel more kinship with the Wardens than I did with most of my family. This life isn’t for everyone, but it has worked out well for me.”

“It sounds like it.” Bethany smiled at him. 

“And what about you?”

“Me?”

“You’ve been here nearly half a year, so you must be settled in by now. How does the life of a Warden suit you?”

She was quiet before replying. “I still miss home and my mother and sister. I don’t think that will ever go away.”

“Nor should it.”

“But I like being back in Ferelden. I enjoy getting to learn magic from the other mages, and not having to do it in hiding. I love the library in the Keep—I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many books in my entire life. And I like the people. Elisa called me sister minutes after my Joining, and I did not realize how much the Wardens considered each other family until a few weeks ago.” One of the younger Wardens had died from a well-timed arrow. She did not know the boy well, but his loss had affected her heavily.

“Aye. For many of us, they are the only family we have left. Karmyn’s taken in some orphans as well, who may undergo the Joining one day, and we are the only family they will ever know. We do not want to fully replace one’s family, but we want to be a good substitute.”

“I have found that so. I was worried the senior wardens would feel like parents, but they are more like older siblings, if that.”

“Then our mission is accomplished. The only one that people sometimes consider their parents are Karmyn and Stroud. I am sure you can see why.”

Bethany laughed. I do that so much more now, laughing. “I can—Karmyn tends to mother-hen us while never looking out for herself, and Maker help the poor soul that betrays us, for I never want to see her wrath again! I would disagree about Stroud, though. I do not think of him as a father, more like a protective uncle that is always ready with advice.”

“Aye, that might be more accurate.” Nathaniel had finished with his food and turned to look at Bethany. “I have enjoyed eating with you, Bethany. I would like to join you more often, if you would not mind.”

She prayed that she did not blush too much. “I have enjoyed this as well. I would enjoy talking with you again.”

Both stood and headed towards the kitchens to leave their plates and bowls. They were about to go their separate ways when Nathaniel snatched her hand to press a gentle kiss to. “Have a good evening, Bethany.”

He started to walk away when Bethany called out, “Nathaniel!” He paused, turning to look at her. “I never thanked you for these last couple of months.” She stepped close to him. “I have appreciated everything you’ve done to help me get settled and more comfortable with the Wardens, and I doubt my thanks is enough but it is all I have to give you. So thank you, from the bottom of my heart.” 

He smiled back at her. “It has been my pleasure, Bethany.”

Her face turned red as she got close to him and brushed a light kiss to his cheeks. “Goodnight.” Brick red, she dashed down the hallway and into the safety of the library, leaving a grinning Nathaniel in the hallway.

v.  
“Over to Kirkwall?” Bethany asked, looking at Karmyn’s orders.

“Not Kirkwall, exactly.” The Commander replied. “If you follow the route I’ve laid out, you’d be coming into port in Kirkwall, taking a couple of days to acquire food and horses, and then continue on your way deeper in the Free Marches.”

“Shouldn’t you send more senior Wardens on this venture?”

“Stroud and Nate are going, as are Markus and Elisa. You and Jamison will be the only two that are not Senior Wardens. Besides, I need to send a mage with them and you are my best option.” Karmyn smiled at her. “You’re not in a situation where they can live in a nearby village and you can visit them like some of the others. I know you must miss your mother and sister.”

“…I do.”

Her smile widened. “Then go, Bethany, and take a few hours to see your family. I only ask that you not tell them where you are headed, nor warn them of your arrival. You will be traveling under cover, as I do not wish for all of Thedas to know I have Wardens moving north.”

“…Alright.”

“One last thing.” Karmyn handed Bethany an envelope. “I did not want to send this over regular mail. You know that I have been in contact with your sister, and I have a gift for her. And one for you as well.” Karmyn passed her a small parcel that weighed the same as the other object Bethany picked up.

“A ring?”

“It is enchanted with a minor healing spell. Both are.”

“Isn’t this favoritism?”

“It has the Warden sigil on it. To the world, it looks like your Warden ring. Take it, please—most of the Wardens have something similar in a piece of jewelry I know they prefer that is enchanted with something useful.”

“Thank you, Karmyn.”

“Safe journey, Beth.”

A little over a month later, Bethany was watching the silhouette of Kirkwall get larger and larger, fiddling with the ring from Karmyn. It did not take her long to realize that the city was aflame.

“Stroud, we have to help!” She was pleading with him.

“We cannot, Bethany. It is not our place.”

“That is my home!”

“Vigil’s Keep is your home now.”

“But—“ She begged him with sad eyes. A sharp hand raised caused her to pause.

“We have to go through Kirkwall, however, and if we are able to help while continuing to move, we will. Alright?”

She smiled. “Thank you, Stroud.”

“Do not thank me yet, Bethany. You do not know what we will find here.”

Fire is what they found, and destruction. They gathered that the Qunari had rebelled and were attacking the city. Again, Bethany was begging him. 

“We carve a path only, Bethany. If you sister is half the warrior you say she is, then we will probably run into her. We cannot go searching—that storm last week has put us behind.”

“Very well.”

“We will follow your lead—you are more familiar with Kirkwall.”

She nodded and they started winding their way to the exit of the city to Sundermount. Qunari warriors were everywhere. They cut down as many as they could, trying to make their way to the exit. As they neared Gamlen’s house, Bethany had to resist the urge to stop. 

I even hope Gamlen is okay. Maker, just let my family be okay. They turned the corner to a larger fight occurring between three familiar figures and a hoard of Qunari. She recognized Fenris by his white hair instantly, which meant the knife-welder by his side was Hawke. 

“Sister!” Bethany threw a lightning spell at a Quanri trying to cut her down. 

Hawke whipped around, eyes wide. “Bethany?!”

That was all they had time for. The Qunari pressed in harder and it took all of their concentration to win the fight. As soon as it was finished, Hawke ran towards Bethany. 

“Beth!” She almost threw her arms around her little sister, but when Bethany involuntarily stepped back, she paused. “Bethany?”

“I’m sorry, Hawke.” She took two steps forward and gave her a stiff hug. “What has happened?”

“The Qunari have finally snapped. We need your help.”

She looked to Stroud, who subtly shook his head—she had already known the answer. “I am sorry, sister, but we can’t.”

“What?!”

“We cannot meddle in the affairs on individual cities.”

“Kirkwall is your home!” Hawke cried.

“No…Vigil’s Keep is my home.” She looked to her companions, realizing that she truly saw them as family. “The Wardens are my home.”

Hawke took a step backward, shocked. “Beth…”

“It was good to see you, Hawke. Give mother my love.”

Hawke paled. “…My last letter hasn’t reached you then.”

“What?”

“…Mother’s dead.”

Bethany’s vision tunneled before a strong arm came about her waist. “Beth, I’m sorry.” Nate’s voice was soft in her ear. “We have to get out of here. You can mourn then. We still need you at your best.”

His words snapped her back. “I am sorry, Hawke. Sorry for not being there, and sorry that she is gone. And sorry that I cannot linger. I will try to return soon, alright? I will ask Karmyn for some time to travel here.”

“Very well.” Hawke’s eyes turned cold, and Bethany almost flinched from them. “Safe travels, sister.” She turned her back, but Bethany called after her.

“Wait!” She ran up to Hawke and handed her the parcel from Karmyn. “From our cousin. She wants you to wear it, it’s enchanted.”

“I’ll consider it. I have Qunari to deal with.” Hawke turned sharply and ran off towards Hightown. 

“Are you alright, Bethany?” Nate asked.

“No. But I don’t have time to cry now, do I? Come, we can get to Sundermount this way instead.”

vi.

“Bethany?” Karmyn’s soft voice broke the silence in the library as Bethany sat reading. 

“Hello, Karmyn.”

“…Nate briefed me on Kirkwall.” Karmyn came over to her and sat on a cousin opposite her. “I am so sorry.”

“We passed by again once we had finished our business north. They are recovering, slowly. No Viscount, though, and the Knight-Commander is taking over. Things for mages will be hard there. They’ve taken to calling my sister The Champion of Kirkwall.”

Karmyn sighed, reaching across to the girl’s face and raising her chin up. “Not that. Well, yes that, but everything else. Running into Hawke during the attack. Learning of your mother’s death. Having to leave Kirkwall. Nate told me what you said to your sister.”

“I didn’t know it until that moment. I have been her for nearly 4 years now. I did hate it her at first, but slowly…” She smiled a little, “slowly it became home. The Wardens became my family. I had duties, and I could not, nor would I ever, abandon my family here.”

“You’ve grown quite a lot, you know.” Karmyn chuckled a little. “I was talking to my husband about it while you were gone, and he said that you reminded him of me when you first met him. Shy, worried they were in the way, sort of unsure. You’ve grown much, though, in your time with us. I’m proud of you, Beth. Proud to call you one of my Wardens, and proud to call you my cousin.”

Bethany shot forward and hugged Karmyn tightly. “Thank you, Karmyn.” She started to sob quietly, Karmyn holding her while she mourned the loss of her mother in the arms of family. 

While they sat, Karmyn’s eyes noticed movement at the entryway—Nathaniel. With a small gesture, Karmyn motioned him closer. “Beth.” Karmyn pulled away as Bethany’s tears slowed. “Should you need me, I will always be here. As will all of the Wardens. But I would understand if you wanted a few months to return to Kirkwall to mourn your mother and speak with your sister. I could send another Warden with you, as well.”

Bethany sighed, wiping her eyes. “I cannot live in the shadow of Kirkwall and my sister forever. I appreciate the offer, Karmyn, but I would rather stay here. I can mourn her just fine from here, and I do not know if my sister is ready to accept who I have become in the Wardens just yet. Perhaps in a couple of years.”

“That is your choice.” Karmyn noticed a small smile on Nate’s lips as he over heard. “I believe someone else wants to speak with you, and offer his own comfort. I am certain I have letters to write anyway, and I’d like to mail one to your sister.”

Bethany’s head whipped around to see Nathaniel. Karmyn didn’t miss the shy blush as she left, Nate taking the seat she emptied.

vii.

“Karmyn, we should have heard from Nate by now!” Bethany paced Karmyn’s office as the Warden Commander rubbed her temples. 

“I know we should have, Beth. I’m worried for him too. However, I do not have the manpower to sent a team of Wardens looking for him!” 

“He was near Kirkwall in his last message—that’s where his sister plans to start looking.”

“Maker’s breath, I didn’t know she was getting involved.”

“We both know she’ll just cause trouble we do not need. I am worried for Nate, naturally, but I know he is capable. I am more worried she will cause trouble in Kirkwall that it does not need.”

“No, you’re right. Has she already left?”

“Yes, three days ago. I just learned of it today when I went to visit her.”

“Then I have to send you. There should be another boat leaving in three days, if I’m remembering the schedule correctly. It’s a merchant vessel, but I am sure they would not mind escorting a Warden.”

“Thank you, Karmyn. Truly.”

She waved her hand at Bethany. “Nate is one of my dearest friends. I know that he is still alive, I can sense that much. But it is very unusual for him to not check in and I am becoming worried.”

A month later, Bethany was stepping onto Kirkwall’s familiar docks. The city was in decent repair after the Qunari attack, but she felt an aura of despair hanging over the city. It did not take long for her to make her way to Hightown—she would leave her name with whomever Hawke had at the house and then try her luck at the Hanged Man. 

She was more successful at the Hanged Man, although her sister was not there. A very exuberant Varric was, and he insisting on buying her a drink. “It’s good to see you, Bethany. Really.”

“I am glad to see you as well. If Hawke isn’t here, then where?”

Varric sighed. “These days, who knows? I think she was headed out to Sundermount with Merrill, Fenris and probably Anders.”

“Well that seems like an odd trio!”

“Trouble with Merrill’s clan, Fenris barely leaves Hawke’s side, and we’re getting a little worried about Anders so we’re keeping an eye on him.”

“Worried?”

“Everything with the Knight-Captain and the mages is getting out of hand. We’re standing on the edge of something, Bethany. And I have a bad feeling about how it all will end.”

Bethany sighed. “I’ll be sure to give an update to Karmyn. I can do little else. I came here in search of another Warden by the name of Nathaniel Howe.”

“Howe…I know that name…”

“Yes, Anders used to speak of him.”

“No, there was a woman by the Chantry asking for help to find her brother. Hawke was considering it, but she’s been wary to return to the Deep Roads. We all are.”

“I’d like to speak to her then, but I would feel strange just staying at the estate until she’s finished.”

Varric shrugged. “You’re welcome here, Beth. Not a lot of places for you to go while laying low. A Warden you may be, but you’re alone and Meredith is sure to take advantage.”

“Thank you, Varric.”

“Let me send out a couple of runners and see who else I can drudge up—I’m sure Avaline and Isabela would hate to miss you.”

“I’d like that—how are they?”

“Avaline got married, and Isabela hasn’t changed a bit.”

“Married?!”

“You remember that guardsman we rescued when you were still here, Donnic?”

Bethany laughed. “I wish I could have been there.”

“Oh helping get those two together was a hoot. Let me tell you the story…” 

By the end, Bethany was tearing up from laughter at the recount of the tale. As he embellished a little more, Avaline arrived.

“Do not believe him, Bethany.” She said, grimacing. “Half of that is an exaggeration.”

“So no copper marigolds?”

“…”

Bethany chuckled again. “It’s good to see you again, Avaline. I’m sorry that I’ve been away so long.” She stood and hugged Avaline. 

“It’s good to see you too. Waiting out Hawke’s return from Sundermount?”

“Yes. I’m here on Warden business.”

“That woman’s sister, I take it?”

“Nathaniel Howe, yes. He is a dear friend of mine.” All of them noticed the red hue that crept up her cheeks. “Since I am familiar with Kirkwall and the Deep Roads in this area, the Warden-Commander thought that I would be the best person to send. However, she cannot spare more than just me to go searching, so I hoped that Hawke and a couple of you would come with me.”

“If she doesn’t want to help, than I’d be happy to.” Varric stated. 

“I would be surprised if she didn’t, but if she won’t I’ll come too, sweet thing.” Isabela had appeared towards the end of her explanation.

“Thank you so much.” 

viii.

“Things are unsettled here, sister.” Bethany looked from Hawke to Nathaniel (who subtly nodded) and back to Hawke. “Something is going to happen soon. We will stay for the time being and help. We do not think Karmyn will mind.”

“What happened to not getting involved in other affairs?” Hawke spat at her, causing Bethany to flinch at her previous words behind thrown at her.

“This is different—what happens with the mage and Templar conflict here will have a drastic effect on those relationships across Thedas.”

“Not only that, but I owe you my life. I like to pay my debts, and this is a good way to do so.” Nathaniel added. “Karmyn will not mind, not for her family.”

“I will never understand her desire to consider us family.” Hawke muttered. 

Bethany twitched. “She grew up with none and wishes to make sure we survive to a decent age. Is that so wrong?”

Hawke sighed. “I’m sorry, Beth. That was out of line. I’ve really enjoyed communicating with her, and I’m grateful for what she has done for you. But I miss you. With mother gone…with mother gone I find myself wishing you were here more and more.”

Bethany gave her a small smile. “I like my life with the Wardens, sister. I have gotten the chance to learn so much about the world, about magic, and about myself. I do not have to hide with them, and I am free to be myself. To do the things I want to do.” She glanced over at Nathaniel. “I’ve gotten to fall in love. I hated leaving you, but it was the best thing for me. I’m happy, sister. Happier than I have been in years.”

Giving her sister a small smile, Hawke stepped close to her in the attempt to hug her. “You flinched away last time, sister. I miss you.”

Tearing up a little, Bethany stepped close to her sister and hugged her tightly. “I am sorry about that. I’ve regretted it so much. When we met last…I was still trying to figure out who I was in the Wardens. Whether or not I was happy. And hearing mother was dead…I realized that I was still very confused about whether or not I was happy in the Wardens. I don’t think Karmyn should have sent me back to Kirkwall at that time, but I’m glad she did.”

“Me too. Maker, I spent so much of that time so angry at the world. Angry at myself. I had lost my entire family because I couldn’t protect them.”

“And what I said didn’t help.”

“I had to let you go, and I think that helped.” Stepping back, Hawke said, “I’m proud of you, Beth. And I’m sure mom, dad, and Carver are as well.”

“Thank you, Sister. Truly.”


End file.
